This is my coming out story. For some of you that have already come out you know that it can be a scary and often overwhelming thing to do. Your nerves go haywire, you wonder how your life and inner circle will be impacted and generally over-think the entire situation. Make it simple, make it more about yourself and less about others.  The hardest part about coming out is loving yourself first and living your truly authentic life. You have to #bebrave

Before you come out you will have a roller coaster of emotions like the fear of disappointing your parents, loosing friendships and close relationships with loved ones. Being worried about coming out to anyone is very nerve-racking.

I have a friend we’ll call, “Jay” who came out to his dad and it was the hardest thing he has ever had to do. Jay’s dad didn’t understand his son and didn’t feel comfortable around him and their relationship suffered for many years because of Jay’s father’s mindset and beliefs. The relationship is still not that great to this day but he is slowly coming around realizing that he does want a meaningful relationship with his son.

On the other side of the spectrum, my parents were the opposite and very supportive. Sure there was an adjustment period but they were pretty good about the whole thing. Ultimately they just wanted me to be happy and knew that I may have had some struggles along the way, but they did support me.

I remember that day so clearly because when I woke up I felt like I had to puke. I knew my parents were going to be home all day. I wanted to wait until the evening but I knew if I did I would chicken out. So right after breakfast I told them I had something to tell them. I just came out and said it. My mother didn’t seem surprised, call it mother’s intuition. She was really glad that I was comfortable enough to come to her. You see one of her high school friends committed suicide when they were both in grade eleven. She has always told me growing up that if I needed to talk to her about something she would listen.

My father on the other hand was pretty quiet about the whole thing which made me really nervous. I let it be and knew he would talk to me about it in his own time. About two weeks later we sat down and had a chat. It was one of the greatest conversations we have had to this day. We really connected on a deeper level. I bet he was pushed by my mother to make the effort but I am so glad he did. He had a few questions about where I see my life going and we talked about our relationship and how I never wanted to loose contact like my friend Jay and his dad.

There can be so many things that hold you back when it comes time to come out. Just make sure it is the right time for you. Also take the time to get to know yourself and be comfortable with who you are. Life is way too short to be anything but who you are. You don’t want to wake up 20 years from now and say “What if?” After I came out a huge weight was lifted and I felt free and gave myself permission to live my life the way I wanted.

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